Some day, one day aka muddy middle section, but bookended nicely, with a vague reference to Dale and Aura

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking what I'm thinking. That's why I know what you are thinking. You may think you know what I know you think, but only because you think I am not thinking the same thing. If you thought it, you'd think nothing of what I know you think. Because you'd know that I thunk it, and that's why it's in my mind. But I have a thought that you'd never guess at, because I think about these things. But I know what you are thinking more than you know what I'm thinking, even thought it's the same thing. It's the fact that I know you are thinking it that makes me better than you.

Reprinted without permission, or How I learned to stop worrying and love schmaltzy shit

I was just thinking of how so often, in the middle of a relatively trite, even schmaltzy song, there can be a moment of lyrics beauty and/or brilliance. Take this following passage from, of all things, one of the schmaltziest songs ABBA ever wrote, Our Last Summer:

the paris night
Did it’s best to please us
And strolling down the elysée
We had a drink in each café
And you
You talked of politics, philosophy and i
Smiled like mona lisa

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but this was ringing in my head, and nothing else was. I liked the passage, went and looked up the rest of the song, and it was incredibly bland romantic slush. Perhaps this is too, but, again, I like this passage. It brings a vivid image to mind. Perhaps it's just the mention of politics and philosophy.

Some might call it Hallmark, but I disagree. It's what Hallmark tries to be.

I have a disturbing theory, though, that some time in the future, poetry critics might embrace schmaltz and maintain that it is actually an important movement in art that was overlooked by the pretensions of the time.

I'm scared.

One blog, one world

One day we will own reality. They have a thing they can put in your brain to talk to your computer, developed for people who can not move, and this is the first step towards the matrix, I swear. We will live in whatever reality we want. I want to live in Oz. The women there are beautiful. I will write my blog from Oz.

My mind is going

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do.

Ark

Bring them to me and I will store them in my belly, my belly with the beasts, and I will process them and send them back into the world transformed, ready to repopulated the wetness, and grow on it, and multiply.

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Giving up the joke for the greater good

So I went ahead and explained myself on saynomoore. I hope that does not detract from my point. It probably. It's my second test, really. They failed the first one by not getting it, but being the optimist that I am (sometimes), I decided to give them another chance. Isn't that magnanimous of me!??! Well, I hope all is well out there in blogland. To my many and varied fans, Thor bless you.

An old, old song of mine

For lack of anything else to say (there are a few things brewing in the back of my head, but they need time to fester, and a long session to work out in print), I will post an old song of mine.... it's called "You"

You are yellow
I won't tell no
As you continue to weep
I will use hands
Make sure I land
Safely on my own two feet
It's just that I can't ever seem to get to you

You were waiting
Day was fading
And I contemplated air
Pigs were singing
Meaning swinging
It's your birthday, cut your hair
I don't seem to be saying anything to you

If your answer
Grows a cancer
I'll cut it out for you
Make me crazy
From the ways he
Charmed you to death
Out of the blue
It won't hurt a bit
It's hopeless for me and you

My EXCITING new Links

Well, I've added some exciting new links. I'm going to add even more exciting new links at a later date, but for now, visit the excitingly retitled "Places I Go From Time To Time; You Should Go There Too" section. It's exciting, I tell ya.

If I were to worship

I think if I was going to worship any god, it would have to be Thor. I'm mostly Nordic, I'm told (and I have the corners on my head to prove it... I hear they support the horns), and what other God has their own comic book? I mean, how cool is that? God of Thunder, Superhero, Avenger!

Do I need to sacrifice anything as an offering? If so, I'm not into blood and all that. I was a vegetarian for a long time, and I like my pet goat too much, so.... how about a stick of celery?

Sleep comes with the territory

In yawning I find once I had a dog bones are my favorite place to see where I put things away right now you silly little piece of pie crust over the surface shifting to create a massive catastrophe in the middle of the center of the beginning of the way towards the end of all of this pleasant goodnight.

I walked through the canyon and climbed the ladder to the top, scratched a picture in the stone and called it my home for a minute or two, like the ancient ones did, but the spirit did not let me have it my way. I can see the top from here. It is meant to be, and I will find it whether you like it or not. So stay out of my way. I am the master of all there is.

Be gone!

Random thoughts on Woody Allen

Perhaps these thoughts are not really random, for I have thought them for some time. I have been a fn of Woody Allen for some time, intitially because I identified with the nerdy character he most often portrays, and subsequently just because of his comedy and his talent at what I'd call, perhaps, introverted drama. Crimes and Misdemeanors was my favorite for years, contrasting a dark murder story with a comedic, failed romance story. The ending summation, that Woody's character was over-romanticizing reality, even while trying to be realistic, spoke truth to me. These days I tend to favor Stardust Memories, possibly just because it features aliens, but it seems to me to be one of his most consistent films, and the most rewarding of frequent viewing.

But alas, Woody Allen has faltered of late. One can't expect him to hit it out of the ballpark every time, and for years I was frustrated with people who saw the latest Woody Allen film and complained he had lost it. I'd tell them it was true it was a minor work from a great artist, but that he'd be back next year with a masterpiece. For a while, I was right.

So what is the problem? Sweet and Lowdown was his last truly gratifying picture, but for a few films before and since, his work has been sub par. He is writing the same characters and conversations into every script, and while the main plot thrust changes, it is not enough of a difference to make it as interesting as it could be. He has always had similar situations repeated from film to film, but has changed the situation or setting enough to give it a twist that kept the characters reactions novel. This does not seem to be the case anymore. Anything Else was extremely boring and miscast, but might have been a fine film had it been set.... anywhere else... been populated by actors who "got it," or been set in a different time period or whatever. In other words, his script wasn't that bad. Sloppily derivative of his own previous work, sure, but sometimes that has worked for him. It's just the same old same old with no gimmick or crazy situation to put the characters through, and only gets interesting when Woody's character turns out to be on the run from the law... the film is so lacking in memorableness that I don't remember what he is wanted for, but it was mildly amusing. Hollywood Ending started out incredibly dull, but got interesting once the gimmick set in, and had one of the funniest prat falls I've ever seen.

So where does that leave us? How can he make interesting movies again?

He needs to change the setting, or bring the gimmick in more quickly. That forces his stock characters to react to their surroundings and situations.

I have a few suggestions as to those surroundings and situations. He has done Science Fiction a little bit with Sleeper, but he could make an interesting space opera. He should rewrite Flash Gordon (changing the names to protect the innocent, and to protect his wallet from the copyright holders). Or something in that genre. He should also make a thriller. One of those dime a dozen films where Al Pacino or Harrison Ford are running down the street with a gun. He should also do a Rambo type action film. And he should try something along the lines of John Sayles, just setting his story in some different part of the country, or another time period.

Now I know what you may be thinking (of course, I always know what you may be thinking). Would it still be a Woody Allen film? Those don't sound like anything he has ever done! The answer is, of course they don't! For a time, he was doing something new all the time, and that is what made his films so good. He needs to stretch out a bit, and try some genre fiction, just to give his work a kickstart. He's too predictable right now. Did I mention zombie films? I think he'd do well with zombies.

Any other genre suggestions, or possible settings or time periods that would spice up his work?

I thought I'd share....

....an email from a friend who just moved to Florida. I'm not sure what they are doing to him.

My job is fun because it's like acting, and the part I

play is of an enthusiastic corporate employee.  I

smile and act really cheerful all day and have a big

shit-eating grin on my face all the time, this must be

how those mass murderers feel before they go crazy and

shoot up their office.  Only they're not the actors

that I am and I hope to at least get into middle

management before I have to do something like that, I

don't want to waste my time ending the lives of

pathetic wage slaves like me, I want a shot at a CEO.



Still I think about doing stuff like buying a bunch of

fake moustaches and wearing them into work like I did

at the video store, although I've no idea how that

sort of thing would go over here.  I test the limits

to an extent, for instance this week I was assigned to

use the computer that demonstrates to the class how

all the stuff we are learning is done.  We're playign

with dummy credit card accounts so nothing we type in

matters, whether I change someone's name to Batman or

write that they make 20,000 a year in supplementary

income from organ thievery and are hence eligible for

a credit line increase, it's fun to see the awkward

look on the trainer's face as he reads this stuff out

to the class and then makes me change it.



I have no doubt that starting tommorow, someone else

will be using the demonstration computer.



I'm looking for an apartment in the city, it's really

nice there, much nicer than this place I am living

now.  It's like it's not even the south, in fact

people in the city make fun of southerners for some

reason, as though they think they're different.  It's

like when I lived in NY and there would be the

occasional native New Yorker who would have

confederate flags on their car.  There was a guy like

that in high school who would tell our Jewish art

teacher about how the south was going to rise again

and get rid of minorities.  Where the hell do they get

this stuff?



Sometimes I hear voices in the night.  I wake up in

bed and I can't move and I hear them all around me.  I

know for a fact that the FBI has placed bugs in my

room, my family pretends they don't know what is

happening but really they do.  They have a

transmission device that puts thoughts into my head

-that I know I did not have there before!!- I think

that the NSA is trying to find out who is coming into

my room.  Sometimes they talk about children, but who

on Earth would hurt a child, what kind of sick

monster?  Their experiments are only more indication

of the further extent that this country is being

coopted by a demonic presence.  I don't know if this

line is being tapped but tell others.  If you don't

hear from me then I expect I have been taken to

Washington to testify before a congressional

subcommittee about the nature of the threat against

the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.  They know that if I die

then they have lost their only evidence of what is

happening to this world right under our noses.



All my love,

Florida.

Why did he have to go there?

On a more positive note....!

I'm learning how to play Ederlezi on guitar! Yay me! I must not let this detract from my ABBA studies.

Whatever Works

I am so tired, so very, very tired, of ideologies being the reason for action. "Whatever Works" is the only ideology for me. Political debate should be about what works, not about how you think things ought to be. We are in the real world. Philosophy is about what is ideal.

I took a look at the new Moore forums, and it's pretty stupid stuff. There's one "liberal" who doesn't want to be called a liberal, and a bunch of raving right wing twelve year olds, let by an apparently fat man who makes fun of Moore for being fat. Do these people even remember Rush Limbaugh? My head hurts.

My Viking Songs

This is one of my Viking Songs which does not have a title or music put to it as of yet. I call this a Viking Song because it was one of several I wrote which were inspired by a book about Vikings that I was reading at the time. I honestly have no idea at this particular moment what the hell I was talking about, but I still sort of like it, and will probably make a complete song out of it someday. Written November 17th, 2002

This tribute should represent
The sum of all the various,
History's precarious,
Prefabricated precedent,
Which midway is consisting
Of an artist's burial
Tradition; impulse, serial
Confirms we are existing.
This concept of variety
We see in practice old
And new; we do as told
And bow to every piety
So as to stay homogeneous
And knock the impulse dead.
We can not use our head
To skillfully vent ominous
Returns to all the extent
Centuries of independent
Means.

Do I Really Want To Work With These People?

Well, yes, I do. I currently get payed less than peanuts... broken sunflower seeds more like... and I need the medical and dental benefits, plus some sort of retirement. That will be nice. But something about the office either draws a certain kind of bureaucratic snot, or does something to good people to turn them into jackasses. I'm on the list for the job, but in the meantime, well, I need the people there to do something for me. What is it, you ask? Eligibility Worker. Yep, I applied for the job and to receive aid right around the same time. I'm currently closer to getting the job than I am to receiving benefits. I can't believe what jerks I may soon be calling "coworker." It fills me with dread.

What happened?!?! We went in on the 5th to apply for MediCal and Food Stamps. We weren't (and still aren't) sure if we qualify for either. We might actually be working too hard. But the real problem is their communication methods. We were asked for our pays stubs for that week, and so we brought them in. Nearly a month later, we get a letter telling us we need to bring in all of our January pay stubs. Only it doesn't say "all January pay stubs." It says "1-05" pay stubs. We take this to mean 01-05-05 , the 05 standing for the day, not the year, and hence we are completely baffled, because that is what we already turned in. This mayseem like a silly misunderstanding on our part, but it still made no sense, even if it had been phrased clearly. Generally, for important dates, you write the information out ("we need all your January, 2005 paystubs,' not "we need your 1-05 stubs, you only gave us your 1-5 paystubs" ...it only makes sense if you already know what they are talking about, as different people abbreviate dates differently). The letter also says it is the second request for this (apparently this was requested once, on the day we went in to apply).

Anyway, we work every day (I work six days a week, tragically still part time, but it eats my entire day anyhow), making it very hard to come at the beck and call of the eligibility office, or whatever the hell you call this place (I suppose I should find out the official name of it if I want the job). Well, this morning, our worker calls, irate that we have not jumped when she said "jump," literally chewing us out for not understanding her poorly written request, threatening to deny all benefits if we don't come in right away, and so on. I look again at the letter, and it gives us until February 7th, so her tirade makes little sense. We have the weekend. She also claims she could have cut us off on January 18th, but we did not receive the letter until January 28th, and we did not get some of our pay checks until the 20th and the 21st anyway. Plus, we were told in our initital interview that we just had to bring in the pay stubs for up until the time we came in. As the republicanly titled "Rights and Responsibilities" video we watched informed us, benefits are based on the previous month's income. So it's a little senseless and contradictory to ask for wage proof for dates after you apply. I feel bad for really poor people who have to deal with this all the time.

Maybe this will all make more sense after I go to Jerk School.

Links

Well, I've added a few links to the left there. I will add more maybe, some time. Maybe I'll rotate links. I like linking. If anyone has any link suggestions, let me know.

That's a fun and tedious was of spicing up a boring post.

Also, if you have any interesting topics you all would like me to pontificate on, feel free to make suggestions on that as well. I need brain food. Give me brain food!

Bad Blogger...Bad BAD!!

I'm so sorry to have neglected my many and varied readers. I know that you await my every whim for your daily entertainment, and I have failed you, FAILED I TELL YOU!! Please forgive my incompetence as your leader. I shall make good, I swear. Please don't hurt me!

But seriously, I will post something that will matter soon.

Very soon.